YET ANOTHER BLACK EYE FOR BOXING AND ROCKY BALBOA

written by Marco T, member Disassociated Press

Arizona (AP)- In what appears to be another case of fact being stranger than fiction, recently unclassified FBI reports have unearthed a conspiracy involving Mike Tyson and film production company United Artists to fake Mr. Tyson's bankruptcy. United Artists came to agreement with Tyson when they were unable to sell syndication rights to the film "Rocky 5" which depicted fictional Rocky Balboa, former heavyweight champ returned to dire straights in his Philly hometown. Now, the scandal may send a "knockout blow" to both the studio and boxing in general.

Mike Tyson, once the most feared man in the world and self-proclaimed "baddest man on the planet," has amassed over $300 million in purses throughout a turbulent career and was believed to owe $38 million to various creditors, including the Internal Revenue Service and ex-wife Monica Turner.

According to previous reports, Tyson was penniless and was quoted earlier last year as saying: "For two years I have been a bum, truly a bum in the streets. I've got nowhere to live. I've been crashing with friends, literally sleeping in shelters."According to recently unclassified FBI documents from 1998, the President of United Artists, Lawrence Wilcox, met with Mike Tyson and his business associates in a gentleman's club in Atlanta, Georgia. What was allegedly discussed was compensation (believed to be cash and a cameo role as Adrian's ex-boyfriend in"Rocky 6") to Mr. Tyson in order for him to hide his assets and claim bankruptcy. Mr. Wilcox was allegedly under the belief that every time television networks TNT or TBS, among many others, broadcasted "Rocky" marathons,t hey would always omit the final "epic " of the series, Rocky V, due to being too "unrealistic".

Mr. Wilcox conspired with Mike Tyson to declare bankruptcy,which in turn would make the plot of Rocky V. In the film, Rocky signs over Power of Attorney to his low-life, alcoholic, leaching, Brother-in-Law, "Uncle"Pauly, who in turn loses the entire Rocky Balboa fortune within a course of a month, while Rocky was away in Russia to fight Ivan Drago. The plot, initially considered far-fetched, seems to be much more realistic and marketable after the Tyson scandal. (Despite the explanation of this particular reality problem, another goes unsolved: the FBI documents provide no info as to how Rocky Jr. went from 6 years old to 14 years old from the end of the Drago Fight in "Rocky IV" to the time where Rocky landed back in the U.S. in "Rocky V." Rocky's eye wasnt even healed up yet and the kid aged 10 yrs. But, I digress...)

FBI agents in Scottsdale announced their findings shortly after they seized records from Commercial Federal Bank regarding Mike Tyson's numerous accounts and noticed awkward activity. There have been tens of thousands of moneys wires that have been sent to Off-Shore Accounts in the Cayman Islands. Some of the name on these accounts, such as "Spider Rico," "Union Kane," "George Washington Duke," "Al Savani," and "Home Team, Inc.," have been assumed to be of dubious ownership, most likely dummy accounts for this mind-boggling scheme.

Attempts were made to contact Arizona FBI lead investigator Nick Bachetti, but he declined to comment. Unnamed sources in the FBI department have told the Disassociated Press that "This is the most ridiculous scheme that we have ever seen, or at least since the X-Files finale. We will uncover every stone until the truth is told. But on the bright side, at least now when TNT has their weekly Rocky marathon, all five movies will be shown, like it should be."


(Previously posted at http://pretentioussoup.blogspot.com/ and edited by Mark Lungariello)